It was so wonderful. So many people were here to celebrate her. She did great, loved the attention and showed off by walking all over the place. I will post lots of pictures over the next few weeks.
Now, the house has cleared out and it is quiet...just Hannah, sleeping, and me, alone for the first time in several weeks. I am in a reflective mood, thinking about being in the hospital a year ago, with my precious daughter sleeping on my chest, overwhelmed with love, really overwhelmed with all of it. This day seemed like a lifetime away at this time last year.
I have spent a considerable amount of time since I have been back from Hong Kong working on Hannah's first year video (to be posted as soon as I figure out how). I have watched it about five times today, and I cannot get enough. I fight back tears every time I watch it, I cannot believe that in what felt like the blink of an eye she has gone from that tiny baby that slept on my chest a year ago to a toddling, independent, willful one-year old. Instead of gifts we asked people to bring items to leave in a memory box, to be shared with her when she is 18, if they felt inclined to do so. The box is full. For my part, I am dropping in the video referenced above, and this letter.
Dear Hannah,
For a full year now, you have filled our home with joy. Laughter, smiles and silliness have become a part of our daily routine thanks to you. Everyone says that one year olds are all over the place, but my dear, you are seriously all over the place right now. Just this morning Grandjackie, Aunt Melissa and I took our eyes off of you for a second and found you with a mouth full of dog food. Your energy is a huge part of what makes you so fun. You have an amazing disposition, people always comment on how happy you are. I like to think it is because you have great parents, but in reality I know it is only because we were blessed with a really happy baby. You walked all over the place tonight smiling and entertaining, you were darling, and I think you had a good time.
Your party was really special. You are so blessed, there are so many people who love you and will always be supportive of you. You had three great grandparents and four grandparents and tons of aunt and uncles here today. All of your friends came and lots of your mommy and daddy's friends came too. I know you will not remember your party, but we took lots and lots of pictures.
I think about what I want to say to you, as an 18-year-old almost adult, and I am kind of at a loss. More than anything, I hope that you are happy. I hope that your father and I are able to navigate your childhood and your teenage years successfully and that you will have grown to be compassionate and confident. I hope that we will be able to help you identify your gifts and your passions and find a way to assist you as you develop them to the best of your ability. I hope that we do not push you to be someone that you are not, but I pray, and am confident, that you will grow into a young woman who will make us proud, and more importantly, who will be empowered by and proud of her own accomplishments.
I love that we can really see parts of your personality now. There are things about you that I feel like I already know. You are not much of a people pleaser at this stage. In a way, I hope you stay that way. Your mom is kind of the opposite, and sometimes it makes things a lot more challenging for me than they need to be. You seem to be pretty mechanically inclined. You like taking things apart and trying to put them back together. I feel like I can see little wheels turning in your brain as you try to figure out how various things work. You are generally happy and easily excitable. I love this about you and I pray, pray, pray that your pleasant disposition is a permanent personality trait. As cheesy as it sounds, I firmly believe in the power of a positive attitude, and I hope that you always appreciate all of your blessings and retain an optimistic outlook on life. And on that note, I hope your father and I are always able to fulfill all of your needs and most of your wants, but are also able to instill in you a sense of appreciation for all that you have and a firm knowledge that there are those who go without.
Sweet girl, I love you more than I ever thought possible. I cannot wait to watch you grow up, and at the same time I wish I could keep you little forever. You are a true joy. My life is full of blessings, but none of them compare to you.
Love,
Mom
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